Here are a couple bikini’s I kind of like but don’t know if I would wear lol
Opinions please – Please comment
I had a deep tissue massage yesterday afternoon and it felt amazing, then I soaked in a super warm bath last night – It also felt amazing!
I worked on my super bound calves with my nugget and blaster after I got all my tissue warm and mushy 🙂
My right calf has been hurting for 6 months. Every morning I get up I hobble to the bathroom until it loosens up. So I had watched a couple of videos in the Master group this past weekend and finally had a chance to sit in the tub and see what I could do.
I know many-MANY! of you do not understand the bruising and why would I be happy about this. But really look at those bruises. They are not big black and blue marks like you get when you walk into something. They are a pink color. This is a sign of new blood flow. I have areas – most of all of my legs – that the fascia is so thick and unhealthy that they don’t get proper blood flow. The work I did on my legs only every hurt to a pain level of 2 maybe 4 in some spots – I am not into pain and hurting myself. This is self-care – like eating right and exercise. Going to the chiropractor or massage therapist. Only in this case it is something I can do for myself. The only reason I need help is because I can’t reach some areas, not because it’s not something I don’t understand.
The ones down the outsides of my legs are along the IT band. Again that has always been super tight and I have been working on them forever. All in all I am happy with the progress on my legs. They are taking a long time but progress is being made – so I keep going.
My Daughter In Law is coming over to help me with my back Sunday. I need someone who is not so worried about hurting me as my husband, and she been in the Facebook group for months and has seen the training videos so when I tell her what I need her to do she will understand. Plus, I bought her one for her birthday. She has had one on her own skin and knows what is going on. So while it’s not optimal – she will do better than I can do and will go a bit harder than my hubby would 🙂
Somewhere in this blog is a post I shared –Found here – about why I first decided I was going to lose weight way back in 2003. That was a deeply emotional painful moment for me.
Not sharing it – going though it.
I have gained and lost weight so many times between now and then and seriously. I have been heavier in the recent past than I am now. But for some reason last night – I felt it. My back fat jiggling while being intimate with my husband and I wanted to cry. I am sure it has jiggled many other times. There is no way it could not have. So I am thinking I was just much more aware of my body at the time. I know he loves me. I know he does not care that my back fat jiggles. I do. I love him and want to present the best body I can to him. I feel attractive and desired when I look good and I feel proud that I can share that with him. Right now I feel OK – but I know I am far from what I am capable of. So I’m calling this my turning point. My wake up call.
I’m using it as my sign that I need to get my head out of my ass and do this. I have talked and talked and talked about it with little results lately. Seriously look at this chart!!
Pretty erratic since last January – hah well that may be because I now have a scale that automatically logs LOL where before I just would not update my weight if I had gained 🙂 But aside from that the average line through all of that is much higher that the previous average had been.
Logged a meal plan for the day. Will stick to it. I can do this. I will do this. I’m rather embarrassed that I have not shown any progress is so long.
Thanks for reading my rambling
This weekend I re-did my bedroom. No paint or anything like that. Just a deep cleaning, rearranging and few little tid-bits thrown in 🙂
I had the blinds in a closet for about 6 years – lol – I had the material in my quilting stash and I ordered the lights from Amazon on Thursday when I started hatching my plan 🙂
My husband had to work and I had plans to get this all done and surprise him when he got home Saturday evening. I actually slept in until about 7:50, got up had some coffee and thought about my plans for the day. Grabbed some food about 9:00 and then got to work!
I tackled the cleaning and moving around first – so much dust and dog fur! When I had that done – I hopped in the shower and ran out to buy a curtain rod. I also picked up some drapes in case I didn’t like the material idea. But I actually LOVED IT!!! I ended up using the material to make valances to match the bed drape.
Look at this awesomeness! The lighting it provides is perfect! Like the perfect amount or twinkly romance 🙂 And he really liked it too! In fact he was rather happy and told me he loves how much little things make me happy 🙂
SO I kind of feel these two pictures contradict each other. I mean for the longest time I lived with the mindset on the left. I felt that if thought of anything other than being successful in my business I would fail. All the while I felt bad that I was not being successful. I am sure I was in my own way and that is fine really. I mean I was blocking myself for a reason….why? I’m not 100% sure, but I was.
For OVER 4 years I internally was kicking myself. Beating myself up. Having conversation with people that never took any action – and I blamed myself. I know it was them, I really do know that. But I blamed myself for not being able to motivate them to take action. I talked to people that would ask my advice and turn around and go buy the product on Amazon. That I know had nothing to do with me LOL I talked to people that not 6 months later bought product from someone else and also became a coach under someone else. That was not me either – that was just a bad mesh of personalities. Not everyone gets me and that’s OK. I’m sure the age difference played a role in that.
So again for over 4 years I had this mental thought on loop – I will succeed! And then also add into that – I’m not succeeding – I must be a failure. It’s really no wonder I have yo-yoed up and down so much in my weight. I was having and internal fight about being good enough – worthy enough.
I am by the way.
So this brings us to the second picture. Being able to move from never giving up because “I Will Succeed Period” to “…letting go of things that make you feel bad” was a hard – HARD shift to make. But, I have to say I have never been happier. I love my husband. I love myself. I love where we are in our life together. I am doing very well in my day job. I am appreciated and paid well. I am not really sure why I felt I needed more income outside my day job.
Well – Actually I do. When I started my outside “grind” I was in a dead-end roll and was working for someone that didn’t appreciate the work I was doing. I could not get a raise – because it would mean I would be in a higher pay grade than one of my male co-workers – and apparently that is a bad thing. And I was mentally bored and needed something to challenge me.
Then I got my current roll and I have mangers that care about me and my mental engagement in my job and see the value I bring and pay me for it. I don’t ever plan to stop working really. Even when I retire I intend to work doing something. Craft store – gym, something that involves my enjoyments in life – ohh The Home Depot or Lowes – I love DIY!
With all that said You will succeed at anything you truly want to succeed at as long as you let go of the shit that makes you feel bad 🙂
No gym yesterday. My son works 3rd shift and Monday’s are rough for him. He’s transitioning from 1st shift all weekend (awake with his son) back to 3rd Sunday night for work. So Monday’s he’s super tired and I understand. I will have to make sure I plan a home workout on Monday’s.
My oldest son called me this morning asking for help to figure out why he was not losing weight. The first thing I ask/told him was he needs to be tracking his food. Is he eating enough? is he eating too much? With out tracking you don’t know that answer to that. And with his new desk job, he probably needs to adjust how much he eats compared to what he used to eat. And then as my morning went on after that conversation it started creeping into my brain – I’m not tracking. Not a damn thing. And that is probably why the 21 Day Fix was working for me. It kept my calories in a tight range between 1200 and 1500 with daily exercise. I have been exercising – not daily – but I have NO idea how many calories I was eating. And it really does not matter if you eat low carb, high carb, or low fat – it still comes down to calories in and calories out for weight loss. I can maintain my weight on low carb without calorie counting – but seems I can’t lose. So today I start tracking my calories. And I know that I personally starve if I heat a high carb diet, So I will keep them lower.
I took a few pictures to make some level of progress. Just because the scale is not moving does not mean I am not progressing. It’s just not the progress I WANT to see 🙂
Last pic is a close up of my ab area….I have to go find one that is similar from a point in the past LOL I know it has changed a lot despite the scale being stuck. Because my scar tissue it breaking up!!!
You can also see my various random bruises LOL in the side shots.
OH And my massage table!!!
UPDATE: January 23rd 2016 – 133 pounds – I think I actually weigh more than that today 🙂
That is the meal plan I followed pretty much daily while doing the 21 Day Fix back in July. The last time I actually lost any weight. Since then I have just kind of maintained – down a few up a few – down a few up a few. That is maintenance mode. I don’t want to be in maintenance mode. I want to lose at least 19 pounds. I need to get back into losing mode. So I am going back to the last thing that worked for me.
The Vodka is a new addition LOL if I hit all my other numbers and keep in a deficit and do not lose – I will have to drop my two drinks in the evening until I get where I am going. I should be very close to where I want to be by the time we go to Hawaii if this tool holds true, and I do what I need to do! It’s hard when your body stops responding to what has worked int he past. Well – this plan has worked in the past LOL I think the addition of the alcohol is part of why I’m stuck. But I don’t want to give that up – YET! I will if I have to.
I was looking at my Facebook timeline this morning and this was a video I had shared some time ago – I wanted to capture it somewhere to share – so here you go 🙂 I love Steve Harvey! He has such an amazing outlook on life.
Gym at 4:00 with the Boy – then grocery shopping to buy the proper foods to do that up there 😉
I almost didn’t go to the gym yesterday. For some reason by the time my husband got home I found myself in a bad mental place. Maybe because I could quickly see the possibility of us making it to the gym quickly diminishing. So I was mopey and went up to my bed and just laid there in the dark.
My husband calls up – “You up here?” I said Yup and that was that. A little bit later I get a text 🙂
After that I got up – got dressed and went to the gym and did day two of week one – Ease into 5k 🙂 I did the entire workout with my hoodie on – that made me sweat. Then I came home and got in a hot tub and used my Fasciablaster on my calves and shins – because the shin splints were killing me!
My brain was in a much better place! I was so glad he encouraged me to go. I would have beat myself up big time and probably eaten SHIT all day today to add to the self loathing. But I feel good today! So happy it’s Friday. My husband has this weekend off. We are going to the Home Builders and Remodeling show this weekend, relaxing and sewing/model building.
You! Go do something for you – don’t put it off. Don’t let someone else determine how you feel. Get out of your head – Go to the gym – go work out to a DVD – get on a treadmill or bike. Move your body – sweat! It will make all the difference in the world.
Oh and this morning I got up to a wonderful new bruise – On My Shin! Never got one there before. But I knew it was tightly bound by how badly it hurt while I was running 🙂 The bruise is a welcome sight – hopefully the next run will be less painful as it looks like something broke free.
Yesterday we went back to the gym and instead of cardio we did the weight machines. Today should be cardio – it might not happen right after work though. My son’s son is sick and he went to get him from day care to take him to the doctor.
So we will have to wait for Grandpa to get home from work – or his mom to pick him up after her work. I would like to go so I can get my run done and hit the tanner again.
I have nothing fun or interesting to share right now 🙂
Work work work – mentally prepping for March 11th when I will be purchasing our two week trip to Hawaii. Then I will be mentally preparing to go in May 😀 Two weeks in tropical Paradise!
Scale is moving back to where it was pre-Christmas LOL
I went to the gym yesterday!
I did day 1 of the Couch to 5k program. It was good! I felt very good almost euphoric for quite a while afterward too.
Today my back and hip hurt sooo bad! I had to go to my chiropractor LOL I had actually threw my back out well before Christmas and had just been trying to “get along” without going. Mostly it was time and not wanting to get out and go. I always feel so much better after I go so I don’t know what I didn’t go before. Lazy I think.
I have taken advantage of not workout pretty much since the last day I was at my desk for work. Its so easy not to do. But my body hurts so bad when I don’t. My blood pressure goes up – I eat like shit and it’s just this rotten cascade of self destruction. I need to do each of those things daily for myself. It’s not punishment – it’s care.
I still look pretty good 🙂 I’m happy with my belly progress. I need to work on my back fat rolls and high butt and saddle bag area. Ay the gym last night I hit the tanning booth after the treadmill. I love that warm feeling. I thrive on sunshine and that is just a little treat. I only go in for like 7 minutes. It helps me feel betting despite no sunshine in the godforsaken state in the middle of winter lol
OK So I guess I could start sharing one at a time and I probably will – but if you want to go start to watch all of the video’s that are already out and available for Fasciabalsting go here This is a You Tube Link to the Ashley Black Guru video’s. There is a tab called Playlists. Start there 🙂
I need to go and get ready for the Gym – What are you doing for yourself today? I’m hitting the weight machines so my back and hip can recover 🙂